Posted By

June 3, 2008, 6:23 pm
Flag as Inappropriate Phinn  

  Subject

Elderly driving 

I think it's time I advise my Dad to give up driving himself. I worry about his failing eyesight and the nervous shakes. It's going to be a huge deal as he has always prided himself on his independence and thinks he's still a better driver than many other on the roads. Any suggestions? 

June 3, 2008, 6:33 pm
Flag as Inappropriate jenbear09 says...

My mother in law is 86 and she is still driving. She doesn't like depending on other people to drive her around. If she needs to go anywhere at night we make sure that we are there to take her but she thinks that she is putting us out. 

June 3, 2008, 7:12 pm
Flag as Inappropriate cntrybumpkin82 says...

I would speak to your fathers physicans to see what their feelings are about him continuing to drive, esp if he has problems with his eyesight. If his doctors back you up it may help make it easier for him to accept. Other than that the only thing that I would suggest is to remember to treat him like an adult - I don't say this to try and insult you or anything but I know a lot of people who treat their elderly parents like they are 2 year olds. It might also be a good idea when you bring the idea up to your father to have your siblings (if you have any) with you to help support the fact that he is just getting to old to safely drive.
Hope everything works out ok. 

June 3, 2008, 7:45 pm
Flag as Inappropriate lavender says...

I've had the same discussion with my parents. I didn't get very far though as I live too far to easily take them places and they have quite a few doctor's appointments these days. We have switched their primary care physician to one down the street so they can walk except in extreme weather. 

June 4, 2008, 2:48 am
Flag as Inappropriate alexis3 says...

I have been lucky so far that anyone in my family of age that driving could be an issue has stopped already. Check with the doctors as the best bet, esp. the eye doctor. 

June 4, 2008, 7:51 am
Flag as Inappropriate Christie says...

Has he had any problems with driving so far? If he hasn't, I don't see as you really have a right to say much. I understand you're worrying, but as long as he can drive safely he should be able to. Of course, if he's been getting tickets or getting in fender benders, then maybe you could discuss it with him. I don't believe the doctors will speak to you without your father's permission as it would be confidential information. 

June 4, 2008, 8:32 am
Flag as Inappropriate Klara says...

I agree with most of what others are saying, even though the roads are pretty dangerous for someone who is not as quick as they used to be. If he has had no accidents or other incidents, he's probably ok.  

June 4, 2008, 8:33 am
Flag as Inappropriate pheinbaugh2 says...

My Grams was a crazy driver. My mother called her doctor one day before her appointment and stated her concern. He pulled her license. She wouldn't lissen to anyone. 

June 4, 2008, 9:29 am
Flag as Inappropriate Ricardo says...

My mother suffered a stroke which left her without sight in her left eye, just a few weeks before she would have had to take a written test.

She's since decided not to pursue driving and I think that's a good decision.

I suggest that we should respectfully try to convince the elderly to not drive when the time comes - And I realize it may be tough to do and even tough to know when to try to do it.

Best of luck to everyone in this situation.  

June 4, 2008, 11:56 am
Flag as Inappropriate sicnarf says...

I really don't have any suggestions but I just wanted to offer my support because you are really treading on a sensitive subject. However, one thing that comes to mind is, can you have a physician or some other medical professional state that he can no longer drive? That way, you don't have to play the role of the villain.  

June 5, 2008, 7:12 pm
Flag as Inappropriate Mercy says...

I'm not too sure that I'd wait until he starts getting into minor scrapes to start worrying about his driving ability. That could be costly to the pocket and worse... 

June 5, 2008, 8:30 pm
Flag as Inappropriate Phinn says...

Well Dad hasn't been in any scrapes so far but I have driven with him and I know he's not seeing very well and his reflexes are not what they should be. I don't want to wait until he starts having accidents to start getting him thinking it might be time to get chauffered.
 

June 20, 2008, 2:28 am
Flag as Inappropriate flowerhorn says...

How old is she? If he is still able to walk, I think you shouldn't stop him. It will take away his freedom. Just ask him to drive slower and avoid night driving. A lot of people can understand the ways old people drive and they will gladly consider their sluggishness in the driving.