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May 8, 2008, 11:20 am
Flag as Inappropriate skatss  

  Subject

13 Year Old Wants To Go On The Pill 

If your 13 year old daughter asks you to help her go to the doctor to start her on "The Pill" would you say OK and take her? She says she isn't having sex, but she wants to be a responsible person and be prepared.

I am mostly afraid that the pill is dangerous to start at that age and all it really does is stop unwanted pregnancies, not social diseases. I've told her all the dangers from it, but she wants to go to the doctor for it anyway.

What would you advise? 

May 8, 2008, 1:02 pm
Flag as Inappropriate gbyrd says...

I think that may be a little too young. That may be enabling her, giving her a false sense of security. Birth control doesn't prevent sexually transmitted diseases. I would advise her that you can be responsible with sex without starting birth control.  

May 8, 2008, 1:18 pm
Flag as Inappropriate Jackie says...

If she is asking about birth control, believe me she is thinking about having sex. Be glad she is responsible enough to want to take preventative measures and that she trusts you enough to come to you about it. By all means, also make sure she is educated about disease prevention to go along with it. 

May 8, 2008, 2:14 pm
Flag as Inappropriate MSeal says...

Very true, I can see both sides of the story, thats a tough one. The good thing is she came to you and was open. 

May 8, 2008, 4:08 pm
Flag as Inappropriate ewills says...

You can bet if she is asking about sex, she is already or is strongly considering having it. I would make sure she understands the importance of having protected sex, and that being on birth control is not a ticket to do whatever she wants. I would stress abstinence for awhile till she becomes more mature and can handle all that goes along with it.  

May 8, 2008, 4:11 pm
Flag as Inappropriate K to the J says...

The only reason a 13 year old should be on the pill is if her period is irregular, because the pill does help with irregular periods, but if she say she wants to be 'prepared' then she's just giving you an excuse to have sex and not get pregnant.

I wouldn't give her the pill if I were you. 

May 8, 2008, 8:07 pm
Flag as Inappropriate alexis3 says...

My gut feeling tells me no but in some part of my mind I am happy to see someone might say be prepared even if it is an excuse. Really hard to say for sure what I would do until I crossed that bridge. 

May 8, 2008, 8:34 pm
Flag as Inappropriate jenbear09 says...

13 is too young, she should wait until she is 15 yrs old.  

May 8, 2008, 11:52 pm
Flag as Inappropriate luvbunnies42 says...

It's a hard topic. Especially at that age. I'd first see about period regularity.But, since she didn't mention that she may be considering sex.Fact of the matter is most kids have sex at a young age. I'd rather have her make a responsible choice then to get pregnant and have a bigger issue.I'd emphisize safe sex, educate on diseases and I'd even include pictures of the ugly ones to scare her to waiting a bit. *Maybe it's harsh but it would make her think twice* and give her a good lesson on what could happen if your not "prepared". I'd also say about how the pill isn't always affective.I have a friend who has been on the pill and takes it at a normal time every day and she got pregnant. Her mom was also on the pill years ago and got pregnant. It's not truely affective and I'd hate to think about other health risk that could happen from taking it.

Definitly be glad she approached you on this issue though. She could go to a clinic and get it without your knowledge. So, it's better that she came to you and didn't go behind your back.You know your daughter.She may be thinking about sex but she may not actually be ready to go through with it and maybe hears her friends talking about it or...watches a t.v. show *thinking Zoey101 and teen pregnancy* and doesn't want to make that mistake. Goodluck with your approach whichever it may be. 

May 9, 2008, 7:43 am
Flag as Inappropriate skatss says...

In some ways I want to just go to my gynecologist -- after I speak to him -- and let him give her a good talk about every problem that can be gotten from, taking the pill, sex too early, and the diseases you can get without full protection. If she won't listen to me, I hope she'd listen to him.

Who knows, what he has to say might help me fix my mind on a good final answer.
 

May 9, 2008, 9:15 am
Flag as Inappropriate english_roses says...

My daughter was a little older than that when she asked to go on birth control, but not much. I was glad she talked to me about it, though, instead of going to Planned Parenthood or something. It was a good time to talk about sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy, and hormones and things. I had blood clots from birth control (in the 70s), so I was able to tell my daughter from personal experience some of the dangers of birth control. 

May 9, 2008, 2:36 pm
Flag as Inappropriate lavender says...

I think its great you are the type of mom who is approachable. I know I would have never approached my mom about it. I would have gone to my dad first. I agree with the others that she is seriously thinking about having sex, kids don't just mention things without a reason. It may not be a fun idea, but by helping her to stay safe from getting pregnant (as much as you can with the pill) you are supporting her decision.

Its fairly common for kids that age to have already had sex, so there's not much you can do to prevent her from it, on the pill or not. A talk from your OBGYN could help, as could the scary STD pics (I loved those in sex ed myself, lol), and a serious talk about how life can change after having sex just once, even if its only oral sex (which the pill won't help with either). If you show her how scary it was for you she'll be more inclined to listen. 

May 9, 2008, 3:29 pm
Flag as Inappropriate Mesha says...

Wow, I guess no mom can be fully prepared to hear their baby asking for pills. Anyway the idea about talking to the gynaecologist is a good one, or anyone else who you figure might give her good advice. You can tell her that it makes some people fat. It did that to me. No teenaged girl wants to be fat. 

May 10, 2008, 6:09 am
Flag as Inappropriate paddy says...

In India a mother will faint if her daughter ask her such questions sex is a taboo but I talk about it with my sons . 

May 10, 2008, 4:49 pm
Flag as Inappropriate DanaS says...

This is quite the scariest thought I have ever had. I am not sure how or if I could handle my daughter asking at that age. If nothing else, it's illegal!

I would be glad she came to me, but really be working on encouraging her not to do anything so young. 

May 10, 2008, 10:33 pm
Flag as Inappropriate tdubbs86 says...

This definitely is a tough issue. It should probably be something that you talk about with your family more than just strangers, though looking at the opinions posted here, you have gotten some good advice.

Maybe she is asking about it for the cramps? I don't really know much about the pill but that is a possibility that I have heard.

At any rate, I would appreciate that she came to you, but would probably have her wait a couple more years, thirteen just seems a little too young. 

May 11, 2008, 11:27 pm
Flag as Inappropriate paddy says...

As everybody says thirteen is to young an age to think of all these things . But i feel hiding things will not make it better .
I feel a frank talking is better
padma  

May 14, 2008, 7:06 pm
Flag as Inappropriate fredkin says...

I would start to wonder if shes trying to tell me that she wants to be protective or she really wants to just fix her cycle. Talking to sounds like a good idea though.