Posted By

May 14, 2008, 9:45 pm
Flag as Inappropriate Mercy  

  Subject

Seniors home vs stay at home 

How do I decide whether to allow my parents to spend their twilight years in a seniors home or I take care of them myself? Do they tend todo better amongst their peers? 

May 15, 2008, 6:31 am
Flag as Inappropriate George says...

No matter which you choose it won't be an easy decision but one I think that should be made with their input. Taking care of two aging adults can be a full time task that eventually may end up beyond your skills. Putting them into a senior living community gives them better access to medical care but could alienate them to a point.
Try to talk to them about it and see what they think.
George

 

May 15, 2008, 8:14 am
Flag as Inappropriate Klara says...

If they are still able to think clearly, maybe you could ask them, some will prefer either way. So you don't feel guilty for putting them in a home if that's what they want. Regular visits would help this process. 

May 15, 2008, 10:30 am
Flag as Inappropriate gbyrd says...

You should talk with them about it before making a final decision. If they are still relatively self sufficient, I think people do best around family. I myself would rather live with family than put in a home full of strangers. 

May 15, 2008, 11:07 am
Flag as Inappropriate MSeal says...

This has always been a very touchy subject. I think you have to take into consideration many different factors before making this decision. The main thing I would be worried about is if your parent’s health is rapidly deteriorating, would you be able to give them the care they need and deserve. Sure they would rather live with or around their children than strangers, but if your life is too hectic to give them the care they need, you may have to put them in a home. 

May 15, 2008, 5:09 pm
Flag as Inappropriate K to the J says...

Well maybe you should ask them. It kind of depends on how active they are. If it's hard for them to walk, or do anything by themselves they should go to a seniors home, where they CAN interact with people their own age and do things. 

May 15, 2008, 7:24 pm
Flag as Inappropriate skatss says...

There are senior communities and then there are old age homes. Senior communities are made up of people who are in good health and want to have a safe place that will take care of some of their needs as they continue to get older. Then if they need nursing facilities these communities usually have a place affiliated with them for a smooth transition.

First ask your parents if they would like to look at senior communities. I've seen some that I want to go and live in now! Some have great activities that all the people can take a part in and they all make friends that they can lean on. They can share memories with their peers and some people love these places.

If your parents are ill and need a nursing home because they can't do for themselves now, then that's a big difference. Many people don't want to give up their independence. But then again, they can see that they can't take care of themselves or their spouse and that a home might be what they need.

Look around -- with them -- for a nice place to stay. There are a few around. But if you have a large house and have plenty of family help, then maybe you can take care of them well without harming your health either.

Ask them what they think, they have probably been thinking about this very thing for a long while already and they probably have firm ideas about how they want to spend their time. 

May 16, 2008, 5:24 pm
Flag as Inappropriate Phinn says...

If your parents are anything like mine, you will have your work cut out for you. They can be as stubborn as mules and no matter how logical and forceful your arguments are, once they have made up their minds one way, that's it. Discuss it with them and see what they think. 

May 16, 2008, 10:31 pm
Flag as Inappropriate alexis3 says...

My grandmother lived with us until her passing, we just felt it was better for the family and for her to be near us instead of strangers. 

May 22, 2008, 11:21 pm
Flag as Inappropriate Ozzie says...

Whatever arrangement is made for elderly parents can work out if you give them plenty of time to adjust to the change, preferably in advance of the change. I think mentally preparing one's self for a change in living arrangements is important in adjusting to whatever they may be.  

June 20, 2008, 2:47 am
Flag as Inappropriate flowerhorn says...

I prefer staying with my elderly parents. But if their condition is getting too bad until they cannot rise from bed, I'll have no choice but to send them to the senior home. At least over there, someone will take care of them 24/7. I know it breaks my heart but what have to be do have to get done.