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Posted By
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July 13, 2008, 11:42 pm
Flag as Inappropriate STP_champ
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Subject
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When your partner has medical needs..
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My dad has high cholesterol and high blood pressure, and my mom has stopped buying the "bad foods" he loves. He gets so mad about this. So, I wonder if it is a good thing to do this to your partner, sort of paternalize it and make them eat the way they are supposed to, or to leave their personal care to themselves. My mom says she does it because she loves him and wants him to be around for a long time. My dad says she does it because she's mean.
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Comments
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July 14, 2008, 12:08 am
Flag as Inappropriate Simplyme says...
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Well honestly what would you do if it was someone you loved? Would you put their life at risk just so they can enjoy what they eat? I guess it is different for everyone but honestly I think out of love most of us will do things even if it is a big change to keep the ones we love around longer.
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July 14, 2008, 1:59 pm
Flag as Inappropriate skatss says...
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I think your mom should slowly change your father's eating habits. Instead of throwing out all the bad foods he loves all at once, just throw out a few things and try to replace it with something that will taste good but be healthier for him. Like, fat free cookies instead of regular cookies. Or something with fruit in it. She knows what he likes to eat and I'm sure she can start switching things slowly.
Also, don't tell him what he is eating. What he doesn't know could only help him. Make sure he doesn't feel deprived.
After a little while his eating habits will be healthier and he won't even notice the change.
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July 14, 2008, 4:54 pm
Flag as Inappropriate John says...
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I guess sometimes it just has to be tough love. I couldn't see myself feeding my loved one something I know they shouldn't have. Just so long as I know that I'm doing the right thing...
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July 14, 2008, 5:59 pm
Flag as Inappropriate JennieA says...
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My mom did this to my dad when she went on a diet. he's eaten once a day for the past 5-10 years as a result. Then she complains he doesn't eat and is 20-30lbs underweight. I can only imagine if he got put on a restrictive diet. He'd hate that as well. While yes its out of love, you can't make someone do whats best for them and they are adults. Unless they are incompetent it is their choice to eat properly and live a long life or enjoy eating what they want.
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July 15, 2008, 3:15 pm
Flag as Inappropriate 2Ronnies says...
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I think that ultimately if he doesn't want to buy and prepare his own foods, he has to put up with whatever choices she makes as far as food is concerned.
If he wants to kill himself with food then he can do that, but he shouldn't expect her to be a party to it.
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July 20, 2008, 4:45 pm
Flag as Inappropriate lilbit says...
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I would do it out of love too. But sometimes like someone else mentioned if they are adults you can`t make them do anything they don`t want to do.Your dad might be eating stuff when he is not at home that he is not supposed to. At least your mom is trying. He should be a little more grateful that she loves him that much.
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