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September 22, 2008, 5:52 pm
Flag as Inappropriate marley  

I have a friend who is a soon to be first time Dad and he has already decided this will be his only one. Can you really decide something like this before your first is even born?

I know a lot of people who say this is their last one. And then that last one is born and gets a little older and all of sudden the urge for another strikes. Especially first time parents, they either go overboard with 'I want six' or 'This is the only one'.

Yes and no. I know lots of people who decided from the beginning to have 1 (or no) children and have remained content with that decision. Then there are always the others who regret not having more later in life. I do think before people take drastic measures, such as sterilization, they should wait until they are older.

I am kind of confused about this but the thing that gets me is knowing this guy never really grew up around other kids (he has one sibling but she is older) and then decide before his child is born with his words "there is no way in...". I guess it makes me think he is thinking too quick to judge something like that.

I would say something along the lines of don't count your eggs before they hatch! Not that I think he's going to have a ton of kids, but I have known many parents who wanted only one, and then later decided the benefits of having a sibling are so great that they are willing to give up that part of their lifestyle that having only one meant they got to keep.

Well the plus side of this is that if you plan on only one, and there is an 'accident' then it doesn't leave you with a family bigger than you can handle. But if you don't slip up, then that's going to be one lonely child.

Well, I think it is as easy for as person to decide they only want one child as it is for them to decide they don't want any. When I had me second child I knew that was enough for me. I had had two cesareans and did not want to go through that a third time. I am still very happy with my decision and feel I can be a better mother because of it. My children are my life and with having two, I feel I can give them the needed amount of care both emotionally and financially. So, I say to each his own.

I am an only child and was never "lonely" because of it. My parents tried to have more and it just never worked out. I do think some people are able to make that decision and although some may change or have accidents happen others will stay true to their plan because they really do know what they want and can handle. Making the decision to have "only one" is not cruel and it doesn't make you a bad person or a bad parent.

I grew up an only child too. I really don't feel it was such a bad thing. I had cousins I was close to that would come over often and spend the night. Now that I'm an adult, I stay so busy with my own family that I honestly don't know where I would've fit time in to spend with siblings if I had any.

I have never thought of a child not planned as an accident that just seems like a bad choice of wording to me. I would much rather see the word blessing, even if the reason for many is something at fault that is not the child's fault is it? Almost seems like being labeled as a curse or something.

I think there are only small cases of those who say they only want one that really end up having only one. It might just be all talk, or fear of the unknown.