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July 15, 2008, 9:41 am
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My sister has had chemotherapy for two years and only since they changed one drug last month, has her hair been falling out.

We both have discussed it and she finds that she is very upset. She isn't vain, so that's not why she's upset, but she can't pinpoint why losing her hair is bothering her so much.

She says she thinks it has to do with actually seeing that you no longer look like who you used to see in the mirror. That you start to lose your sense of self and that you don't look like you. The person in the mirror looks sick.

I'm not sure what to tell her. We ordered a wig and it will be coming in soon, but she's not sure she will feel up to using it.

Why do you think that losing your hair affects so many people in such a harsh way when they lose hair to chemo?

I think you hit the nail on the head.

We don't look the same- and it's actually sickly. When you are sick with cancer and you don't look the part- it's easier to deal. It's when you start looking sick- that it would bother you.

I know when I'm sick at all- if I don't shower and get around- I feel worse-- it is the appearance of being sick.

I hope she wears the wig and I hope she is ok and cancer-free soon!

There are some places that will donate wigs for cancer patients, they did with a friend of mine. She used to work in a salon for many years and it hit her very hard on the appearance side of things but she loved the wig it just took her a little while to get used to it. So if you see your friend wear a hat over top it for awhile, don't worry, still in the adjusting time set.

It is just a shock that something that you have had for most of your life is now no longer there and it is not age related. It to many is as disastrous as losing a limb especially if you have a habit of fixing it up whether that is brushing - curling or simply putting it in a ponytail or brushing it behind your ear.

With your sister I imagine it has a lot to do with the internal emotional stress that she suffers from being sick and the emotional roller coaster that often comes a long with it.

Hair is such a part of who we are. Losing it, even temporarily, is probably something akin to losing a limb or other body part. Not only that, but think of the messages that we get from society--that your hair is really important. Losing it would make me feel naked! And wearing a wig would not help me so much. Personally, I think I would prefer a scarf to a wig if I were in that situation, I just think it looks very nice.

My next door neighbor suffered from breast cancer last year. The chemo caused her hair to fall out, of course. At first when she went out she wore a nice scarf on her head. After a while though, my neighbor actually began going out with nothing, her head bald. I was impressed by her bravery. She also has a very nice looking head, which some of us probably can't claim! Happily, she is recovered now and her hair has grown back in to a very attractive 2-3 inch long style.

To be honest losing my hair if I had cancer would be the least of my worries, hair grows back and really you should be worried about fighting it.