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April 14, 2008, 9:15 am
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How do you deal with people who have become living and breathing encyclopedias of their disease? A friend was diagnosed with diabetes years ago and now all she can do is talk about it all the time. Everything somehow relates to diabetes. Fashion, traveling, history anything you try to talk about to her, she makes it about diabetes.

We have had diabetes in my family for decades and I know plenty about it. But there are different things in this world to talk about other than diabetes and what you can do about it and what complications you can get.

How can I get this gal to stop only being a diabetic and become a person again?

Have you talked to her about it? If she is a good friend, you should be able to say something. You don't have to be harsh, just a simple "I know diabetes is a big part of your life now, but I miss being able to talk to you without medical stuff coming up." or something like that.

I agree. Honesty is the best policy here. You could tell her you realize this is a big part of her life and you don't mind discussing it part of the time. Just not all the time!

Bringing diabetes into every conversation sounds unhealthy and obsessive. It sounds to me like your friend could use some counseling or a support group as she has become hyper-focused on her disease. This is usually a sign that the person is not coping well with the diagnosis or the effects of having to change her lifestyle. Perhaps you could help her by helping her find a support group in your area?

Just approach her in a caring manner; as you would want to be told if you were in her situation. Since you are so close, she should understand that you are just trying to help her.

I have tried to be kind and tell her that we can talk about other things. We start but she slips into diabetes again. Another time I told her she was boring me to tears and she accused me of not wanting to hear that I am at risk for it. She says she talks about it to me because she cares that I am at risk. I know I am, but I don't obsess about it and live every moment with an eye to beating diabetes.

She has a group of diabetics that she is a part of and I think she loves acting like a teacher. But I don't need her as a teacher, I'd like her as a friend again.

Oh heck, maybe she will get bored too and change her topic of conversation soon. I hope so.